Tenderness
This has been a difficult weekend for me. It was through my ineffective ministry in Maine that I realize the painful reality that I am not a tender person at all.I have never quite believed in the "head knowledge" vs. "heart knowledge" dichotomy. I still don't. But there really has been something that I tend to miss when I am dealing with people. Being an intellectual type (it's time for me to admit this) I tend to establish a theoretical framework (historical, theological, socio-economic, philosophical, etc.) before I look into the actual phenomenon I'm dealing with, and this leads to the absurdity of making "the system," rather than the individual, the point of departure of my inquiry. Whenever I see something that doesn't fit into my neat little theory, I explain the facts away...
In this way, I lost all flexibility in dealing with people. I am essentially making the same mistakes the Vulgar Marxists have always been making. By making the system (whether it be history or theology or political economy) the point of departure of my inquiry I've also lost a sense of what Quakers traditionally call 'tenderness.' This is so for I've forgotten that it is human beings of blood and flesh that I am communicating and ministering to. It hardens my heart to a certain degree...
posted by James Chang @ 11:21 PM
2 Comments:
Those are good observations, and get really to the crux of much of the human problem, in my view. Its good that you're seeing this -- that's what "the Light" is for! Be tender with thyself as well, Friend.
To echo was Dave Carl has said, it sounds as if the Light is illuminating some part of your self that is ready for being broken open.
My understanding is that early Friends call(ed) this dynamic "being convicted" by the Light--a phrase and an experience I have been sitting with myself for a short while now.
As Dave Carl suggests, go gently. Breathe lots. Keep showing up.
Blessings,
Liz, The Good Raised Up
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