Just Curious

Disposition and character

I recently realized that I am a very serious person. My mind is always pre-occupied by different kinds of metaphysical discourses and I have always enjoyed reading what people like Mortimer Adler would regard as the classics, contemplating their meaning and significance. Whenever I am neither reading nor meditating, I work out in the gym incessantly, for ideological reasons: how can a physically weak person be a true philosopher; how could an undisciplined person by the guardian of his society?

Or, to use good ole' George Fox's words, in my very young years I had a gravity and stayedness of mind and spirit not usual in children; insomuch that when I saw old men behave lightly and wantonly towards each other, I had a dislike thereof raised in my heart, and said within myself, "If ever I come to be a man, surely I shall not do so, nor be so wanton."
 
Whenever my company tries to pursuade me into the pursuit of "vain sports" or "vices"  unbecoming to people of learning, they grieved me very much.

Such a stoic and elitist attitude has proven to be a burden to me. I could no longer have any decent discourse with people not interested in having their mind pre-occupied by philosophy 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. Neither could I communicate with my friends who indeed enjoy the undertaking of sports that are vain in my eyes.

Is it my problem or is it their problem? I think it's the former.

I may indeed be obssessed with the pursuit of understanding. I should probably relax a little bit more.

I came to realize this thanks to a person I barely know. He is a neighbor of mine, from Texas. He never wore herself out by debating with others pathologically over questions like whether there exists natural law or not, and he is seldom perturbed by thoughts on things not directly related to our lives.

He is, to some degree, a good embodiment of the common person, American or not. Optimistic and realistic; friendly and helpful; well-bred yet not manneristic; clever yet unpretentious; moral and rationalistic. I feel comfortable chatting with him.

Maybe I should detatch myself from metaphysical contemplation for a little while as well.

posted by James Chang @ 8:00 PM